how i learned to love being single (+ why you should too)

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bestdressed

bestdressed

Hace un mes

instagram ➭ @best.dressed
subscribe for weekly vids ➭ bit.ly/bestdressedfam
OUTFIT LINKED BELOW ⇩⇩⇩
✨my jewelry collection ➭ enroutejewelry.com/collections/bestdressed
shop my thrift finds + presets ➭ www.bestdressedstore.com/
twitter ➭ @bestdressed
my second channel ➭ bit.ly/bestmess
In this sleep deprived girl talk, I talk about how I learned to be happily single and dissect all of the societal + internal pressures I felt to be in a relationship. I originally filmed this the day before Valentines Day for my fellow single ladies so sorry it’s a bit late!
✰ CHAPTERS ✰
1:38 a note about double standards
2:38 my history + mindset shift through high school, college, and now
5:22 ~let’s dissect my internalized misogyny~ aka analyze the pressure to be in a relationship
5:30 problematic ideals in rom coms
7:26 validation from male attention
11:10 fear of aging
14:48 vicarious success
17:49 slut shaming / stigma around causal sex
20:01 tips for being happy single
✰ OUTFIT ✰
dress: thrifted (similar: bit.ly/39QaHxC, bit.ly/2uOQLfH)
safety pin earrings: i designed them! (enroutejewelry.com/collections/bestdressed/products/safety-pin-earrings-in-silver)
♫ MUSIC ♫
rainy sunday from epidemic sound ➭ bit.ly/2VW00n4
partly sunny by joey pecoraro
special thanks to joey pecoraro for allowing me to use his music! check him out on
youtube: eswomen.com/women/UCXUbxtXlyp-urIb2hRlXRpQ
instagram: instagram.com/joeypecoraro
soundcloud: soundcloud.com/joeypecoraro
spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/44insiIQApkRaCMIbuaISJ
F A Q
what’s your name? ashley
what’s your instagram? @best.dressed
how old are you? 21 (born in 1998)
how tall are you? 5'5"
what’s your ethnicity? half british and half burmese
what equipment do you use to film?
➭ main camera: panasonic lumix gh5s (amzn.to/2Nb0W1z)
➭ 12-35mm lens (amzn.to/2JiSrz7)
➭ mic: rode videomic pro+ (amzn.to/2QHfZBU)
➭ vlog camera: canon powershot g7x mark ii (amzn.to/2DfL4cZ)
➭ canon m50 (amzn.to/2Dp1bnk)
➭ editing: final cut pro
FTC: Not sponsored. Some of the above links are affiliate links, meaning I earn a small percentage of sales made via those links, but it doesn’t cost you anything extra!

be happy singlehappily singlehappy singlevalentines day

Comentarios
louise perez
louise perez Hace un hora
Im so glad i've been watching ashley through my teenage years she's literally the older sister i want to talk about these kind of things. I could watch her seat down videos for hours and not get bored
Llyraa
Llyraa Hace 2 horas
I love you Ashley this is everything I want to say but just don’t have the articulation capacity, especially the slut shaming thing thank you so much I always look forward to your videos !! Xxx
Brenda sanc
Brenda sanc Hace 2 horas
omg in mexico people say that they wanna have kids around 26,30 :0
Jessica Kidd
Jessica Kidd Hace 13 horas
You are amazing and ur my new fav youtuber
Sarah Sathavipat
Sarah Sathavipat Hace un día
Almost spat out my water hearing "zommy" hahaha. Loved watching this video! For someone who is currently single as well (although I'm 30 y.o. heh), it can feel very very isolating and depressing a lotta times where my self-esteem and my perception on my desirability is super low. But the sentiments in this video are very encouraging
Ke Lei
Ke Lei Hace un día
I feel like an alien listening to this. Sorry. Hurt by everyone, nobody to love. Can't relate :/
Nitza
Nitza Hace un día
You literally explained how I’ve felt for most of my life 😭 can totally relate
theyofactor
theyofactor Hace un día
I am a guy who recently found your videos ... and I am absolutely amazed! Wow, you have to be one of the best ESwomenrs out there.
Tilly Stevens
Tilly Stevens Hace 2 días
Also, marriage doesn't have to be the end goal or the end of anything. It' doesn't even need to be a thing. I love you're "where will this train take me" attitude. Helped me realise that my life doesn't have to be so A leads to B leads to death kind of thing:P
Lauren Nine
Lauren Nine Hace 2 días
I love your chatty videos, your ideas are so relatable and fresh! 💜
Jiyoun K
Jiyoun K Hace 2 días
LMFAO @ the intro
Xinyi HUANG
Xinyi HUANG Hace 2 días
Ashely is so mart. Seriously we need more well-educated ESwomenrs to use their influence to actually influence people.
Devon Mitchell
Devon Mitchell Hace 2 días
The titles and concepts of your videos are so basic...and then you find such not basic and revolutionary stuff within them. I flippin' love it.
Cecilia Wright
Cecilia Wright Hace 2 días
So close to 3 million subs! Yay Ashley 🤩
Taylor Marie
Taylor Marie Hace 2 días
you’re SO inspirational always luh u honey
Freek Zoid TV
Freek Zoid TV Hace 3 días
Just wondering how can this person talk soo much and so articulately and so fast?
Zoya Fatima
Zoya Fatima Hace 3 días
Just broke up. First thing to do was to come watch this video. Can't thank you enough, Ashley
Nina Pineapple
Nina Pineapple Hace 3 días
Well men's biological trap is that for them parenthood is nothing much. It's extremely rare that a man would form an as strong a relationship to a child as an average woman does, not to mention that their parenthood is often pretty short, like 1-8 years for example (so they're not real parents to begin with). I don't understand why people say that "women can hardly have it all, but men can", when even though I live in one of the most equal countries in the world, men just are not taking the parenthood route (and often can't, even if they wanted to). Not to mention the fact that men can't experience pregnancy or breastfeeding etc. which are huge experiences on their own.
Chloe Troub
Chloe Troub Hace 3 días
THE INTRO HAHAHA
A Kh
A Kh Hace 4 días
idk if its just me but i feel like even tho people like me who've never dated before kinda dont have anything to miss bc theyve never experienced any part of a relationship, and yet still know what theyre missing out on and stuff if that makes sense and sometimes when i really think about it, im not sure i know my whole reason for wanting to be in a relationship so bad. most of the time its just bc i always feel lonely and wanna be loved and stuff like that but other times i start questioning myself and the way i think about it then i wonder if the only reason i wanna be in a relationship is just to experience it. like it wouldnt matter whether or not it didnt go well or something, like i think i feel the need to just experience it so i can prepare myself for when i do get into a really serious relationship does that make sense to anyone? am i the only one that thinks like this??
C.p.2.0
C.p.2.0 Hace un día
I get all of that lol ! I've been in a few super short dating situations but never an actual relationship but i still struggle with that yearn for one/FOMO feeling thing ! N I constantly think about needing the right reason to be in a relationship with someone, so not dating just for the sake of dating, is an ongoing mental effort for me 😅
Cecilia Torres
Cecilia Torres Hace 4 días
And it is true . Going through a breakup is truly a blessing❤️it’s the most beautiful thing
Cecilia Torres
Cecilia Torres Hace 4 días
I like the way she just gave me calmness💜I just got out a relationship like last year and well it’s been quite the journey being by myself but I love it ! Don’t get me wrong ! I loved having a boyfriend but some things aren’t meant to be. And I learn to accept that.💜I love your ESwomen channel! Thank you for this incredible video:)
April Salcedo
April Salcedo Hace 4 días
I’ve been going alone the past 5 years now. 😱🤣🤣
Haley Cen
Haley Cen Hace 4 días
"bingo" cracks me up 'LOL'
Mariah Harrison
Mariah Harrison Hace 4 días
I. LOVE. THIS. I have always loved being single, and I wish more people knew how to embrace it and wait for something really, really good:)
pilsbury
pilsbury Hace 4 días
this was very heteronormative but so is society... i liked the advice thank u girl
C.p.2.0
C.p.2.0 Hace un día
For some reason "this was very heteronormative but so is society" as a quote just slaps so hard for me lol ...... catch me using that 24/7
Kris Uler
Kris Uler Hace 4 días
This is mind-boggling. I honestly didn't know this generation of young adults was THIS easily influenced and impressionable...this is especially surprising considering that you're actually intelligent and talented and not some vapid twat 😎👍🏻butttt seriously?? Yall watch movies and think oooh this is the sole representation of women so this is who I must be! WTF? What...in...the...actuallllll....I watched all those same movies and never did I think oh yes this lady is who I must base my identity off of ...it was just a movie with a variety of characters and then there was ME. I knew who I was, my sense of self was solid and even when it wasnt...if I didnt connect with a movie character then thats all it was lol I didnt think hmmm these movies are the ONLY reps of women out there so if I dont see myself here then I must reidentify. Are you all that insecure? Are you all that empty in regards to knowing who you are? This is ...scary. Im sorry but it is. That an intelligent, talented girl can actually think this way. Why cant you simply be you and watch rom-coms for what they are? Why cant rom-coms simply rep these types of women? And other movies rep other types of women? Also, a lot of what was mentioned are things that WOMEN themselves put upon themselves and then blame this entity called "society" for all of their insecure, idiosyncratic neurosis ...newsflash, you ARE "society." YOU are the ones creating these ridiculous worlds for yourselves. Why not live your life as YOU and stop searching for these all-inclusive, full-representational movies ....? Why is your view of self based on movies? The ONLY context you saw women in was a rom-com? So you based your life on that. Mind-boggling. It took you years to figure out that rom-coms dont...represent...all..of...LIIIFEEE? i cant.
jisoo
jisoo Hace 16 horas
This isn’t a generation things it’s an Ashley thing. Other than her I’ve never met anybody who thinks like this lmao
C.p.2.0
C.p.2.0 Hace un día
Hey, a lot of social coding/behaviours are learnt via movies, instructional videos, other visual media, like it's a completely normal thing to imprint or base behaviours off of characters from books/movies/tv shows, especially when it gets you very young/impressionable. The way that the human brain is wired is to watch other humans and mimic them, which can happen with your parents or with media. I mean, I've got a strong sense of self but I've based outfit choices around other people's outfits or flirted like characters on tv, partly for fun but also partly subconsciously bc that's how you learn social behaviour. There's definitely been a shift in how much people base themselves on media/other people, especially with the influx or influencers who's literal jobs are to get ppl to want to copy them/envy their lives, but that doesn't mean it's a new thing, hell just look up 1950s dating or home life videos, they show how an entire family or social circle should behave as according to the government, which I think is way creepier than teen girls being influenced by wanting the emotional support of a partner bc they watched 500 days of summer too many times.
anita nurcahyani
anita nurcahyani Hace 5 días
I found myself in you:')
lindaxiomara100
lindaxiomara100 Hace 5 días
I broke up my 6 years relationship, with who i thought i was going to marry, have kids or what ever ir was going to do, i had to go back to my parents house, leave my job and move from far away, a complete life turn, i thought my life was over for a couple of weeks, but now i know i have my life in front of me, i'm a young civil engineer, i'm getting healthier, trying to love myself way more that i ever had, and i deserve a lot better, i need to be loved by myself and who ever gets to be in my life, it's still a work in progress, but i'm doing better, i didn't realize how unhappy i was in the relationship, just because i thought i was making sacrifaces for my future family, but it wasn't equal, so, just know your value in every aspect of your life. You have a really nice personality, hello from Colombia, new subscriber.
Lilly A.
Lilly A. Hace 5 días
Can I just say that you are such a beautiful soul. I love that you acknowledge what happens in our society but still give your honest truth . I'm fairly new to your channel but I think I'm here to stay :)
Lilianna Veldhuis
Lilianna Veldhuis Hace 5 días
Ashely, will you do the marriage with me
Yohana
Yohana Hace 5 días
I am 30 and recently married and I am very happy, but I must admit that in my years of being single it was when I grew up the most, in my personality, my career, my ambitions, travel and made new friends (basically the best memories) and now I'm married, they pressure the people put on me on becoming a mother ... when the pressure towards the woman ends?
long ling wong
long ling wong Hace 6 días
love this video! very mature
Colourful Rainbow
Colourful Rainbow Hace 6 días
Tbh if I feel like having a bit of romance in life, I would just watch dramas 😂😂 It's fun
nirupama basnet
nirupama basnet Hace 6 días
❤❤❤❤❤🌻
Lady X
Lady X Hace 6 días
I wish my older sister was like you, but I can't really blame her because she's only a year older than me and we just try to figure it out together
Fabigail
Fabigail Hace 6 días
I'm not even single rn but I loved this video and you!
eye.am.samira
eye.am.samira Hace 6 días
I could have used this advice in 2017 bc I def was in a rocky place with my career and then gave all my attention to a man that I am now married to. I thought I could just fall into that house wife life but oh was I wrong. So here I am at 25 trying to start a Career and go to School all over again. Its good to hear your advice now tho bc it just motivates me even more.
Anji P
Anji P Hace 6 días
This video hit me a little too hard haha. Some of this stuff, I definitely needed to hear. Even just having it verbalized is therapeutic
Mia Worsham
Mia Worsham Hace 7 días
Thank you Ashley 💜
Annabelle Harris
Annabelle Harris Hace 7 días
literally i've been feeling this too
Older Women Rock
Older Women Rock Hace 7 días
Smart Woman 😊 Some great points . Oh my it’s disturbing some society’s perceptions havent changes . Thank God for the 60s / 70s . As an older lady , just about everybody dies single ...think about it . One passes before the other . As an older single woman , I’ll never the suffer the heartache of losing my partner and going on without them . I see older people who lose their partner , many can’t adjust . 💞
Risa Fellers
Risa Fellers Hace 7 días
So, how do you get out of the male attention phase?
naura -
naura - Hace 7 días
the first time i watched this im still in a relationship, now i just broke up and i watch this again lol
Holy Spoom Stealer
Holy Spoom Stealer Hace 7 días
That intro *REALLY HIT IN THE COOCHIE*
gkoogz
gkoogz Hace 8 días
empty egg carton
Lalalisa
Lalalisa Hace 8 días
When I grow up I want to be that Old Aunt living in her mansion with 4 cars and 7 cats
Kevin Johnson
Kevin Johnson Hace 8 días
You’re from Maryland? I love it when I hear an influencer from my home state. It feels like everyone is from Texas, Florida, New York or California. When I hear someone from Maryland , it’s like we are pretty cool. Haha
Claudia Vargas
Claudia Vargas Hace 8 días
Thank you 💛
Mollie Sutherland
Mollie Sutherland Hace 8 días
i like being single
Jess Minggoy
Jess Minggoy Hace 9 días
Omg i was feeling sad like a minute ago then suddenly i came across this video now im not sad but im looking for a vibrator.
Alessa
Alessa Hace 9 días
fuck i really want you to be my friend
Runa Shiro
Runa Shiro Hace 9 días
I just wanna put out there that after watching a few of your videos now, my confidence and motivation to actually do something in general had a huuuge boost. If you ever read this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your videos kinda save my soul.
Roshini Srivastava
Roshini Srivastava Hace 9 días
honestly i just wish this video could've gone on forever
citizenoftheworldsz9
citizenoftheworldsz9 Hace 9 días
This video is sooo on point. In everything. You are pure awesomeness
María Lucía Suarez Barbery
María Lucía Suarez Barbery Hace 9 días
Is she not with David anymore? 😞
jisoo
jisoo Hace 8 días
No she’s involved with someone called Ryan now
Karabo Mojaje
Karabo Mojaje Hace 10 días
This girl is a friend I yearn for in my life honestly. The way she views so many things is so refreshing not to mention how she teaches us to own our lives because their our lives in the first place. Love Ashley so much.❤❤
Jenn Martinez
Jenn Martinez Hace 10 días
wtf, how old are you, i thought you were still in college
jeonstofu
jeonstofu Hace 10 días
I want to spend time and work on finding myself, for example discovering new hobbies and growing on my talents. there's just someone I'm talking to and that significant other wants a relationship, and at the beginning I did too. But it's so much harder loving someone when you're nowhere near loving yourself, you know? I've been going to therapy after a recent breakdown and I really just want more time to myself. Does anyone have ANY ideas on how I could tell him?
Emily Johnston
Emily Johnston Hace 10 días
ironic that she's in a relationship again like a month after this video lmao
Emily Johnston
Emily Johnston Hace 7 días
@jisoo LMAO yes
jisoo
jisoo Hace 8 días
Even worse didn’t she post (on twitter) about debating getting into said relationship before this video was posted. Plus she flew him out in a pandemic to stay for a few days I’m-
witch bitch
witch bitch Hace 11 días
i saw a comment that said they’re not pressuring themselves to find a relationship, but they’re looking forward to having one. that’s a super good mindset that i’m gonna keep
KAUR
KAUR Hace 11 días
What's weird to me is that most girls at middle school just think one of two ways: Independent- push down other girls, guys, people with fashion preferences, and basically anyone who's different from them in any way to feel better about themselves. They're sexist to their own gender and think that being different somehow makes them superior. Dependent- The average teenaged girl. That's it: whatever your average Sally acts like in your town- that's what everyone is going to hate. This idea that women can only be one thing is so insulting. I can paint my nails, take an interest in fixing cars, loving cooking, and any number of stereotypically feminine or masculine things, and my intelligence or emotional strength wouldn't be impacted. My surface-level femininity doesn't define me- if that makes any sense? People need to realize that: a) Femininity isn't measured in the number of vintage dresses, or nail polish, or any other vanity- and nor should those things be looked down upon. (Fashion/ Makeup are forms of art). b) Femininity looks different for everyone- that's fine. c) Internalized misogyny affects men as well. d) I'm on a rant. e) I'll stop now.
Alexandria Easley
Alexandria Easley Hace 11 días
So on the topic of magic age number of 30 for marriage and 35 for kids is because a lot of women are worried that their kids will have defects because the chance of getting a defect after 35 goes up 100% (it does NOT mean that the chance is 100, it goes from 0.5% to 1%) and because they hear it goes up 100% it scares the shit out of them so they try to have kids before 35 because they think it goes up to 100% when it doesn’t.
Nabila Khoirunnisah
Nabila Khoirunnisah Hace 11 días
i love your way of thinking so much, thanks for inspiring me
mac
mac Hace 11 días
nice profile picture ashley!
Ava Lin
Ava Lin Hace 11 días
"I must find a man to lock down" I've never related to anything more. During my freshman year of college I was hanging out with this cute smart guy, and everyone who met him told me that I needed to "lock him down". That phrase honestly really bothers me because people aren't prey for us to lock down and people should be happy with being by themselves (and in a relationship if that's what they want but that's not the subject of this mini discussion). In a weird way it made me feel like I would be letting people down if I didn't succeed in "keeping him for myself"
Lixin Lai Wen
Lixin Lai Wen Hace 11 días
14:29 golden girls moments baby
Franklin Galdino
Franklin Galdino Hace 11 días
THANK YOU
María Mónica
María Mónica Hace 12 días
You’ve said anything i needed to hear, thank you so much
Sara Ruiz
Sara Ruiz Hace 12 días
Holy sh*t you are 21?! I’m turning 21 next week and I feel like a child compared to you!!!
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